For the last few weeks there has been a lot of fighting, arguing, with myself trying to seek the truth. Can I be honest with you… I mean really honest with you? Over the last few months I have been slipping into a creative purgatory. To be frank, I feel at times I’m treated more like a machine spitting out domesticated creativity than really producing something truly meaningful from my inner depths. Sadly I’ve been relegated towards people thinking creative excellence is a high-powered faucet that can be turned on and off at will. I fear becoming a widget. There’s nothing fun about being an appliance, unless your an espresso machine. I’m not a shiny machine that people jostle in-front of in wonderment of my golden, tinkling display of mechanized, electronic joy! Seriously, machines are predictable and boring; that’s not me.
Yet every day, I feel like I’m fighting the status quo and the willingness to come against the fear and apathy that wants to keep me in a place of living beneath my potential. I feel that my creative soul has been ripped away from me. What can one do?
MK, sorry to hear it man. I can totally relate – the last 2-3 year was the same for me, but now as a senior pastor the only thing limiting me is $$ & me. Maybe it’s time for you to be a senior pastor… ha.nI’ll pray for direction in your life man! Until then, find an outlet – do what you have to so you can do what you want to. Enjoy!